I hope you can find a way to get some “Me Time”. If you have a child with autism, you need this time to relax and recharge your batteries. When PJ was younger and I was able go get some time without him, I did not relax and recharge. I was worried and fearful of all the things that could go wrong when he was not with me.
I have talked to a couple of mothers who have other children who reminded me that even when they get respite for their child with autism, they still have to take care of the others, so they don’t actually get “me time”. That’s why the parents need to get away from home for a few days so they can focus only on themselves. I know how hard that is, but the PJ Foundation wants to help if we can. One of our solutions is camp. Camp is good for the parent and for the child.
PJ is now 36. During these years, I’ ve had years when I tried to do everything by myself because of my fear and anxiety. I became so overwhelmed by autism, that five minutes short of me becoming autistic myself, I realized that I had to get respite. I don’t know how much respite is available now, but I hope you can schedule a few days of respite.
I finally realized something about PJ. He needs “me time” too! Sometimes he would be downstairs and I would be upstairs. I’d decide to go downstairs with him. Then he would go upstairs. If I go back upstairs, he will go downstairs. This has happened so much that I have finally accepted it. So now, we each have our “me time” when we need it, together, separately.
This is a poem that I wrote when I was yearning for “me time”. It was inspired by another mother of a child with a disability. I hope you can relate to it. It is also included in “Inspired By Autism”.
If I Only Had A Day
If I only had a day to wash my cares away / To soak in a tub, to get a back rub / To find the me that I used to be / Do I still have an identity?
If I had a day without this child / Would I feel that I could smile? / Maybe for a little while / I could go to visit friends / and reacquaint myself with them / and I could feel like me again.
Could I go to see a show? / Relax and laugh and let troubles go? / Could I go to dinner to see how it feels / to really sit and enjoy a meal?
If I only had a day, would I find a way / to catch up on my chores / to sweep all my floors? To make my house all neat and clean / so I could have some company?
If I only had a day, would I have a chance to say / all the things that are on my mind / To feel like I have free time / to try on my clothes / to polish my toes ? / To exhale at last/ To complete a a big task.
I’m tired of cryin’ / I want to start tryin’ / to put things back together again./ But I need a day to find my way / It’s coming, but I don’t know when.
This mothering that never ends. / I’m smothering in all the trends / I really try to do my best / but don’t know if I pass the test / in trying to manage all my stress.
So if I only had a day / Could I find the proper way? Some time to work / Some time to play / Or would I just go to bed and stay?
Until next time; May you have Peace, Love and Prosperity in your life.